It’s easy to write about the messiness of motherhood. Of the chaos and the crazy.
As I’m sitting here, though, let me describe one of the sweet and beautiful moments happening now.
Mister Man is snuggling on my lap, half-sleeping and half-nursing, while my arms are over and around him so I can also type while balancing my computer on my legs. The living room is clean, the almost-autumn sunlight is coming through the smudged, dirty windows, the older two kids are downstairs playing contentedly with Legos, and I have a quiet acoustic guitar station playing on Spotify. It’s about as perfect a moment as I can imagine, and before I began typing I had to pause… breathe… and deeply appreciate this peacefulness.
I’ve been trying to create space for embracing peace in our life. Last year when I was pregnant with #3, I had something scheduled almost every morning of the week. He was born and we were discharged on a Saturday, went to church on Sunday, and continued the next week with regularly scheduled activities. A few months ago I finally burned out like a dusty old lightbulb and now I am desperately trying to create margin in my life; I want space to breathe and appreciate sweet moments like this morning, to pause like last night and spend a few minutes enjoying our kitty downstairs after realizing I hardly pet her any more. I want out of this hamster wheel called busyness because it’s making me dizzy and sick.
I want to do a good job at keeping house, and I want to be at home often enough to keep it maintained.
I want to do a good job at parenting, and I want to be “present” enough to focus on my kids–instead of having my brain distracted by a million unnecessary things to do.
I want to enjoy this season of life that God has ushered me into. I don’t want to rush through it with endless obligations and commitments that I can say “No, thanks” or “Not right now, Susan” to.
If you’re reading this and want the same, I give you permission to SAY NO and LIVE SLOW during this season of motherhood. Motherhood is busy by itself; you don’t need to add anything else to your schedule right now for the sake of “being busy”. It’s okay, if you have the opportunity, to stay home and take pride in a slow groove. It’s okay to be 100% in one place instead of 5% in twenty others.
Embrace margin, live slowly enough to pause and appreciate God’s goodness–in this season and the next.
jess leigh hanna 