Sometimes I think I spend more time awake in bed than I do sleeping in it.
But I really don’t mind, because in those quiet, dark moments, God tends to corner me–pillows and blankets and all–and we usually have good conversations. It’s amazing to me how He answers questions. I find it’s often through a single, reflective, wise thought which allows me to answer it myself. Last night, for example, I was asking why there are things in life that I just can’t seem to get past or move on from. Issues I think I’ve resolved before, but that keep cropping up like evil zits.
Ultimately, it seems that I don’t like life to be wrested from my control. If I can “contain” the situation, by fear or worry or merely by priding myself in suffering with it, it seems like I feel I’m in charge. It’s a dumb principle, but it happens. Giving things over to God often makes me feel like I’m “losing”. (Satan likes to play off that… “Loser, loser, loser!”) Well, evidently I need to learn that surrendering to God is gaining a victory–not losing it. If He fights my battles, He–and I–will win. If I fight them alone…yeah, well, I usually do lose. Like all the time.
So what about you? What battles aren’t you winning, merely because you haven’t let God fight them for you?
jess leigh hanna 